The Penny's Edge: June 2024

Sunday, June 23, 2024

The Nudge: Reflections on Gratitude

The Control is in The Release:

Balloons released from atop my father's grave in 2007

"The Nudge: Reflections on Gratitude"

Even though I just wrote and posted the “I Need Do Nothing” post, I keep feeling an internal nudge that I need to sit down and write about the incredible experience that was last Thursday night. I tried to put it off because I have other things that I want scratch off of my to-do list for today, but the nudge is persistent so here I am.

I think the feeling is being fueled by my need to spill gratitude. Whenever I am filled and am all a’sparkle with gratitude, I deeply feel the need to release it back out into the ethers. It’s not that it wouldn’t be delightful to walk around filled to the brim with that special sauce, but rather that it feels like it’s meant to be shared and not held onto too tightly. It’s almost as if the spilling, the sharing, the releasing is a component of the energy or vibration of gratitude itself. (Suddenly, I am reminded of that post a few back about how giving actually is receiving and now I am envisioning a gratitude mobius strip which is both beautiful and amusing that both of these things have been fairly recent post topics.)

So, about last Thursday night…

Friends of mine own an incredible boutique, soHza sister, which is dedicated to the empowerment of women around the world. They recently began a new event series: Shop & Feed Your Soul, and I was invited to participate. Because the mediumship readings that I provide typically last anywhere from 60-90 minutes, it doesn’t really work for me to try to squeeze in a bunch of short readings into a two-hour window. What does work is a group demonstration where everyone gathers together and I am the messenger for the groups’ loved ones on the other side to come through. Of course, not everyone receives a reading in this setting, but can still be a very moving experience and when all goes well, we all come away with an even deeper understanding of how connected we all are with one another and with those on the other side.

If anyone would have told me years ago that I be doing this type of work, I wouldn’t have believed them and yet, here we are and I couldn’t feel one bit more blessed and honored. The joy and delight I feel light me up inside with the loveliest knowing that my feet are on my best-lit path.

Thursday night was an incredible gift. The small room was packed with every seat filled by amazing, loving, brilliant women. Their loved ones on the other side came through with details that were either validated in the moment or the following day by other family members, and they came through with humor. We all laughed and cried, and then laughed and cried some more. We found comfort in the eternal nature of our reality and in each other.

I find these demonstrations, as well as individual readings, to be a collaborative effort between the person receiving the reading, those on the other side, and me with my invisible support team serving as messenger. I’ve already said it but I will say it again, I am truly honored and grateful.

Words may never be able to fully express the depth and breadth of all that I feel in relation to this joyful work, but my guess is that the nudge will continue to poke and prod me into spilling each and every time.

(Quick Footnote Re: Balloons: In 2007, I was only thinking about the symbolism and my own much needed healing but now I would not release balloons due to it being akin to littering and the possibility of harming wildlife.)

I Need Do Nothing

"Water Color"

"I Need Do Nothing"

Let’s hop into The Wayback Machine and set the dial for 1995, when I was first introduced to “A Course in Miracles” which was an integral part of my spiritual journeying. ACIM is a self-study course that I dove into head first and practiced for many years. I made my way through the 600+ page text two or three times and did the 365 daily meditation lessons all the way through at least twice. It may have been more times than that but it’s been so long ago, that I really don’t remember.

For me, The Course answered all of my many whys. I have always been a why girl. Back in junior high, my advanced math teacher stopped calling on me when I would raise my hand because he found it tiring (and maybe didn’t always have the answer) when I wanted to know the reasons behind the theories that he was telling us that we had to accept, remember, and apply.

In my early twenties, I spent a lot of mental energy asking why a loving God would allow this world to be as it is…why would a loving God only allow certain religious followers have eternal happiness after death? None of it made sense to me, but ACIM helped all of this make sense in my heart. The Course is not for everyone and even claims that it is only one path up the mountain, but it definitely was for me.

Even though I no longer regularly read ACIM or practice the daily lessons, I spent so much time doing so for so many years that it has become the bedrock for my spiritual meanderings. I am sharing this backstory about The Course because lately, when my mind wanders during my meditations, I have this reminder pop up, “You need do nothing.”

At first, I was like, “oh that’s right, cool” and I would attempt to be still and quiet my mind into doing nothing…but then thoughts would start popping in…what should I make for dinner?...I need to reach out to so-and-so…Or, I would start to have a vision and the little narrator in my head would start narrating the experience and the vision would fade and I would just go back and forth trying to make my way back to the vision.

Then I received a clarification in my mind, “You NEED do nothing.” Somehow, I could feel the subtle difference between just relaxing and not worrying about what is required on my part and realizing that I do have a responsibility here and that is that I NEED do nothing. That’s my job.

It’s been helpful. I am still far from being able to do nothing for the entire length of a 40 minute meditation but this guidance feels important and meaningful. I am sharing it here on the off-chance that someone else may find it beneficial as well.

In closing, here’s a lovely quote from “A Course in Miracles,” though before you read it, please keep in mind that the word “sin” is used in its more original form as an archaic archery term which means, “to miss the mark”…and in ACIM terms, “to misperceive.”

“When peace comes at last to those who wrestle with temptation and fight against the giving in to sin; when the light comes at last into the mind given to contemplation; or when the goal is finally achieved by anyone, it always comes with just one happy realization; “I need do nothing.” (ACIM, T-18.VII.5:7)”